A wonderful day turned to disaster. There are many people who have disfunctional families. I believe that my family could, quite possibly, be the MOST disfunctional family in the world.
I am one of five children. My Mother was a stay at home Mother/Wife all of my life and still is. She raised us on the “wrong side of the tracks” and did a wonderful job. BUT because my Mother knows nothing more to her life than her children, she is still a constant dictator in our lives. We are all adults yet she feels as though she can still control every aspect of our lives.
It just so happens that I’m the black sheep in the family. I love them, don’t ge tme wrong. But the simple fact is that it’s very hard for me to get along with any of them simply because I refuse to be a drone in the family of Mom. I do as I wish, say what I want and they hate that about me. My older brother and I don’t get along at all. We don’t even talk to one another. If anything is said between the two of us, it’s usually the beginnings of a huge argument.
Now to the point of this blog. Yesterday when I got home from work, my baby sister was there. You know how sometimes when you’ve worked all day, you’re a bit bitey? Well that’s what was with me. Her son had just gotten off of my computer and I sat down to check email and what not, and the boy tells me to get up and that I have to share. Being I was tired and bitey, I told him no, it was my computer and he’d just gotten up. My sister took offense. She went boo hooing to my mother. My mother then preceeds to come and tell me what I was doing wrong and that I “shouldn’t act that way”.
Anyway, me being upset I tend to lash out and told my sister that she really didn’t know me at all to assume that I was being rude and mean to her son. Bitey yes, but who doesn’t have bad days. The argument progressed, I got in her face yelling, and she took a swing at me, several times. She grabbed her son and left. Calls my mother on the way home and tries to say that she didn’t know what happened, that she just snapped and that she didn’t mean to hit me. She’s my baby sister, there is no way I could hit her. I took what she gave me and did nothing.
I was very upset by the whole episode. When I’m upset I shut everyone out and don’t want anyone near me or talking to me. My mother tried to smooth things over saying that, regardless of what I may think, she loves me and hurts when I hurt. I KNOW my mom loves me, but she doesn’t like me very much so I push her away.
Because of the disfunctional nature of my family, I shut them all out. There isn’t one person in my family that I’m close to. It’s really rather sad that I feel as though I can’t share how I feel or what I think about certain things with them. That I have to close myself off and be in my own little area of the family. It’s always been this way and I don’t know what I can do to change it.
