The dark clouds move in. The cold gray of the night never seems to want to go away. The numbness is beginning to take over once more. Fears of the unknown. Living this, what you call life. You live to die. That is true but why put yourself through so much pain while you’re living. Why not live your life happy and free. Why do you have to live a life full of pain only to die in the end anyway. Most deaths are violent and painful, just like the life that you’ve lived. Since our lives are filled with such pain why can’t our deaths be peaceful and serene?
My life is as it is I guess. It’s a never ending cycle of disappointment and pain for not only me but for the ones around me as well. I must say that I’m sorry for making their lives miserable right along with mine. My death will be one of my choosing I hope. I don’t want to feel the emptiness and numbness any longer. I just want to be free of all of this. My life is so messed up. I wish I knew what to do but I don’t anymore.
To all of the ones that I love most. I love you more than you can possibly know. I’m sorry for everything and I wish that I knew how to make things up to you but I don’t. I’m sorry for everything.
I love you all so much.
